Impossibility of blogging

It’s impossible to keep up a blog for a whole mind, because what I wrote yesterday is already so obsolete, it’s gone and over and my new mind does not have a link of memory to the past. Did that really happen to me? It doesn’t sound right anymore today. So to keeping up this blog is a moment to moment endeavor. Forgiving myself moment to moment from where I thought I was, to coming into the present. So I just hope that wherever you are in your mind right now that whatever I am expressing at the moment will make sense to you and help you increase the frequency of your mind. My fear as an awakened mind is always to be off, not to be on the mark, but how can I be off if I am a whole mind. There are so many questions that I don’t even want answers for, because they disappear in a moment of release. And that is all the course is offering me in every instant to release my mind from everything that I think, everything that is going on. And be completely brand new. Without letting go of myself I can’t even be real for a moment, because I am just always past and there for actually dead, not existent. That state becomes really painful when I am aware of it. Thank God for my brothers and the Course in Miracles that always gets me out of it in an instant and reminds me of the truth of who I really am.
I mean look at the first lesson of the Course: “Nothing I see means anything. “ And then the 5^th one: “You are never upset for the reason you think.” And Lesson Nr. 35: “I am not the victim of the world I see.” These are amongst my favorite ones. They just show me in an instant that I am completely wrong, that what I think is going on is not so. There is actually nothing else to say except the invitation for a great experiment to let that be so for you. Let the lessons speak for themselves and let them work you. The outcome is a freedom that you can’t imagine right now, because you are in it, way to deep. You need to get out all the way, to see how beautiful you really are. With that being said, this is a miracle and takes the grace of God for it to be fulfilled.

Beyond codependency…

and into the dependency in God…
I want to thank you for being beside me today.  Just your presence made me feel save, made me extend myself and not stay closed within myself.
I was called upon to stand in my certainty in that moment, and give although I just wanted to get and demand, but it was impossible. Every time I thought that you would go away leaving me alone I felt dependent on you and I knew that could not be it. That triggered the action of giving in me. Every time I give I feel so full and whole. I can really allow myself to love completely beyond any of my ideas. The extension of my mind is just that, to allow myself to express what I am and that is just love itself. Oh, my God for way to long have I hidden that emotion of the eternal love of God and have labeled it something else, suffering away in an endless search for meaning where there was none. When I am in the light with you all of that falls away and my function is clearly revealed to me. My function of giving  and extending beyond what I think is possible. I know that I am completely affecting everything around me with my decision to be whole. That is to include you in finally within my mind and reveal myself to you. I am not afraid anymore that you could leave because I have already given you everything, I have already been made whole through our joining.
In Chapter 8 in the holy encounter of the Course in Miracles, Jesus describes this like this:
“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose sight of yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet they are given another chance at Salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation TO him and receiving it yourself. For I am always there WITH you, in remembrance of YOU.”

This is an invitation to a holy encounter. I want to see you as I see myself and be healed in that one instant of our meeting here. It only takes one instant.
Thank you so much for being there.

I can’t do it without you!

Ever doubted yourself and what you where doing? You gotta be kidding, you might think, “of course, I have doubted myself!” Who hasn’t. I at least don’t know anyone who has not doubted himself.
The Course in Miracles writes in the Epilog:
”Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain.  Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again.  Yet is the ending sure.  No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do.  When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart.  Who could despair when hope like this is his?  Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them.  Behind each one there is reality and there is God.”

It gets more and more painful, actually unbearable painful to not do what God has appointment me to do, and I am very grateful for that. I have never felt so much at peace with myself and aligned with the will of God.

Everything is coming together, and the things I think didn’t work suddenly appear as being brilliant. It’s that feeling of everything is clicking in. I have been in some sort of preparation that I would be ready for this time. It’s like building a website and then it’s ready to be published. I feel I have just been published. In other words I am growing up and putting myself out there. And the response is not devastating, but makes me really happy. I have been moving forward. And right now I just want to thank every one that has helped me along the way. I could have not done it without you.