The end of fear, doubt and jealousy as the end of yourself.

Have you lived your life in a state where fear dominated and happiness was a nice short break from the agony of not knowing who you are and what exactly it is that you are doing here? Have you prayed to God and felt no change in you? That describes how I was and felt. Lost in accumulation of different activities to find some meaning here and to make it all worth while. While in me nagging was this constant feeling of failure. Where it came from I did not know. But I knew I believed in it and gave it meaning. All the meaning it had for me. It gave me the strength to keep myself small, to hide my light and pretend that who I am doesn’t matter. And that it is ok with me to deny myself everything. You are so immersed with that image that you have of yourself that even if you heard that it is not true you would not believe it. You would also not believe that God love you so much. That he misses you. So this is an impossible situation for both of us. You because you want a different experience of yourself but keep holding on to your self image with everything that you have got. And me because God’s love is shining in me now and I don’t believe a word that you are telling me about yourself. Letting go of your self image seems impossible. But it is not only necessary but also inevitable. There is a light in you the universe longs to behold. “If you but knew how much your Father yearns to have you recognize your sinlessness, you would not let his Voice appeal in vain, nor turn away from His replacement for the fearful images and dreams you made.
(A Course In Miracles, Workbook, What is the holy spirit?)