1. Step
The mere admission of something brings about a change. Step one is the admission of complete defeat, complete powerlessness over an addiction. In my case it’s others, food, fear, guilt, human condition, thoughts. I am completely powerless over them, my life has become unmanageable. It is usually a devastation that brings about a thought process, and a willingness to change. But with that the change alone does not occur. It comes from the grace of GOD and has nothing to do with my efforts. Yes, we don’t want to hear that because we think everything has to be so hard and has to be earned. This happens just through the grace of GOD and is inevitable.
This admission of powerlessness makes me free. It makes me vulnerable. It makes me step back from the situation and let something else occur. It’s scary sometimes, because I want to control every situation, to defend my story and keep my self image in place. I don’t want to let go, it’s so comfortable in that place in my mind. I am so used to being like that. The first step feels uncomfortable, scary, different and new. And the truth is that through letting go and not holding on to the story, questioning the reality of my perception and just being open for something new gives me back a natural sense relaxation and being myself. It offers me a whole new perspective of myself.
I am grateful for this program, I am grateful for my higher power. With that I pass….