All about GOD and how to find him!

The second step is all about my relationship with God. Oh my God this is juicy. All the ideas that I had about God are coming up and want to be healed. I found myself being Agnostic, Atheist and Theist. I recognize all those parts in me to be free to just accept God as he is without the concept around him that make me who I am. That make a self concept of myself that I can hold on to and defend, and sometimes even fight for. I don’t know whether this makes any sense, but I think this is the most incredible idea. That through the action of defining myself, I keep God outside of myself. I defend myself from him through a self-concept that I have made rather then accepting myself exactly the way I am. In Chapter 16, section VIII from A Course In Miracles, “The only real relationship,” (one of my favorite sections from A Course In Miracles), is shown to me how much God loves me and that I would not want anything else but God. This second steps leads me there as well. It leads me to the recognition that there actually is a Higher Power, and that is had nothing to do with what I thought is was, and that I actually could have a communication with that Higher Power. This gives me so much hope and gratitude.

The mere admission of something brings about a change. Step one is the admission of complete defeat, complete powerlessness over an addiction. In my case it’s others, food, fear, guilt, human condition, thoughts. I am completely powerless over them, my life has become unmanageable. It is usually a devastation that brings about a thought process, and a willingness to change. But with that the change alone does not occur. It comes from the grace of GOD and has nothing to do with my efforts. Yes, we don’t want to hear that because we think everything has to be so hard and has to be earned. This happens just through the grace of GOD and is inevitable.
This admission of powerlessness makes me free. It makes me vulnerable. It makes me step back from the situation and let something else occur. It’s scary sometimes, because I want to control every situation, to defend my story and keep my self image in place. I don’t want to let go, it’s so comfortable in that place in my mind. I am so used to being like that. The first step feels uncomfortable, scary, different and new. And the truth is that through letting go and not holding on to the story, questioning the reality of my perception and just being open for something new gives me back a natural sense relaxation and being myself. It offers me a whole new perspective of myself.
I am grateful for this program, I am grateful for my higher power. With that I pass….

Virtual Reality
The 12 Steps and A Course In Miracles is truly a blessing for me. It takes me always to the point where I don’t want to go. It takes me to the point of release and to the point where I let go of my resistance to reality. Every grievance, expectation, reaction is ulimately a resistance against reality. And forgiveness is not resisting reality.
But these programs take me so much further. It offers me the complete freedom of my mind. The first promise of the 12 step is: We will know a new freedom and a new happiness. When I first read it - my sponsor made me read the promises everyday - I could not believe it. Then one day after reading them for a while, I realized that all of the promises had become true for me. But I had no idea how it had happened. This happens through the grace of God.
One day at a time.