Ever doubted yourself and what you where doing? You gotta be kidding, you might think, “of course, I have doubted myself!” Who hasn’t. I at least don’t know anyone who has not doubted himself.
The course in miracles writes in the Epilog:
”Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain.  Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again.  Yet is the ending sure.  No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do.  When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart.  Who could despair when hope like this is his?  Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them.  Behind each one there is reality and there is God.”

It gets more and more painful, actually unbearable painful to not do what God has appointment me to do, and I am very grateful for that. I have never felt so much at peace with myself and aligned with the will of God.

Everything is coming together, and the things I think didn’t work suddenly appear as being brilliant. It’s that feeling of everything is clicking in. I have been in some sort of preparation that I would be ready for this time. It’s like building a website and then it’s ready to be published. I feel I have just been published. In other words I am growing up and putting myself out there. And the response is not devastating, but makes me really happy. I have been moving forward. And right now I just want to thank every one that has helped me along the way. I could have not done it without you.

This was just one of those days, where ideas flew everywhere, and I could actually execute them and they took me further that I could have imagined.
Ideas come in triggered by you and I take them and create my own out of it. Ideas expand through giving them away. I guess this is just about everything is an idea. And it is I am the creator that brings those ides in from. And the most amazing thing is that it the idea is just my memory of me actually having done the process of creating already. The idea is a future memory. Right now I am remembering how I woke up, and then I am in the experience of it. So everything is already passed. When I am really passionate about it I know that I have done it before. I have all the confidence in the universe and nothing can stop me. That is when my will has aligned itself with the will of God and I have no choice but following that urge.
There was a really incredible healer during world war II in German, he would heal the masses with his energy. The doctors did not like that and forbade him to heal. Unable to express is God given gift and passion, his throat – the source of his power – grew bigger and bigger and at the end he burnt out. All this energy had no where to go.

This is a wake up call for me, to do what I came here to do, to spread the message of A Course in Miracles, which for me in essence is just the love that God has for us, and that he doesn’t know anything about this world. I am not from here, and that’s why I can be here and not take this serious but just shine my light in this world and be creative in the conversion of my dream. I totally love it. This blog is just for myself. I reread it and have an experience, and can actually hear myself. This is great. This is my invitation for you to go out and do the thing that you always wanted to do. You got nothing to loose. Celebrate your success no one else will!!!!!

Writing a blog post is a bit like writing lyrics, I am starting with a blank page, in the hope that something brilliant will develop. Hoping that the mind is being creative and pours its heart out. It is always a hope that people will like it. But when I need you to like it then I have already lost. I cannot love what I need. The inspiration comes from a need, a need deep within that wants to come out – a creative force that we all have.
Jesus says in the bible: ”Unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Children don’t need approval for their creativity, they don’t care they just express what is in front of them. And we “grown ups” we have to read a thousand books on creativity and being in the now, to come to this glorious state where we can be happy for an instant. Have you ever looked at it, have you ever experience the insanity of a human mind?
In every moment there is so much offered to us, and we can’t see it because we are so busy finding God. The problem with finding God is: “That he is everywhere!”
God is not lost you are!

That is the energy for me at the moment - completely different, completely new. I have been replaced in my entirety. The next moment is uncertain and the only strength is the trust in my goal - which is GOD - which is the only certain thing in my mind. So that I can cope with all that uncertainty I used to establish standards in which to judge every situation. And when a situation was not in my frame of reference I would set up new standards that met that particular situation.
This morning I chucked them all out. I was the one who established them in the first place, and I was limiting myself by them. Oh my God, what a relief.

"Let all things be exactly as they are."
“Let me not be Your critic, Lord, today, and judge against You. Let me not attempt to interfere with Your creation, and distort it into sickly forms. Let me be willing to withdraw my wishes from its unity, and thus to let it be as You created it. For thus will I be able, too, to recognize my Self as You created me. In Love was I created, and in Love will I remain forever. What can frighten me when I let all things be exactly as they are?”

Let not our sight be blasphemous today, nor let our ears attend to lying tongues. Only reality is free of pain. Only reality is free of loss. Only reality is wholly safe. And it is only this we seek today.
(Lesson 268 from A Course In Miracles)

And the other Lesson that comes to mind is:

“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
I will be honest with myself today. I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. Today I recognize that this is so. And so I am relieved of judgement which I cannot make. Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us.

“Father, today I leave creation free to be itself. I honor all the parts, in which I am included. We are one because each part contains Your memory, and truth must shine in all of us as one.”
Lesson 243 from A Course In Miracles

 
Deepak Chopra mentions this lesson in his book “The seven spiritual laws of success.”  I just started to read it, and I was amazed that in the first exercise he suggests the reader to do this lesson everyday. To start the day without judging and to remind myself through out the day not to judge.

That is what happened to me when I chucked the foundation of all judgments my standards out of my mind. Neither bad nor good is desirable, both are judgments and limit myself and my Self expression. No – “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.” And “I let all things be exactly as they are.”
Finally I let my mind go, he already knows where he needs to go and where he is at home. I will not trap my mind in idol dreams that I have made, and that I thought will bring solution to my mind. Today I am free of all of my plans and I am free to be who I truly am. Finally, thank you!

Nothing gets done if I don’t start. It’s very easy to get caught up in planning, analyzing, organizing. Don’t waste your time preparing for something that is already over. Do you find yourself reading all those spiritual books that tell you how to prepare yourself for God, or that give you a process to get to God? There is no process to your awakening, there is no way to God. It is a journey without distance, in an instant of reality. How long are you planning on practicing to be in the here and now? How long are you waiting for some enlightened guy outside of you to save you? I hope by now you saw the insanity of the human mind. That is doing everything not to be where they are and not to be who they are. To be or not to be is not a question anymore. You already are. That is unavoidable. Blaming someone else for it wont help you out anymore. It’s really time that I cut to the chase here and take responsibility for me, my mind, my life. It is amazing how much easier life gets. That is nothing else but growing up. Have you every blamed someone outside of yourself for any situation? YES?

That means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life. 
Are you willing to take full responsibility of your life?
Do it now… Action! Without that nothing will ever happen, nothing will ever change… you’ll be the same old stinking you, and it’s entirely your fault…

Truth can not be learned, thought or acquired in any other form, but through the pure experience of it. Truth is true and nothing else is true. I could tell you what I experienced truth to be, but through your perception it would be so distorted that it would have again nothing to do with the truth. So right here in now I offer you the joining of our minds, and in that instant we can experience the truth of who we are together. Then there is no doubt of what that truth is, it is not open to discussion, it is too precious even to be talked about. Truth stands by it self it does not need defends of any kind. Anything that needs defends is not true.

This is from the Introduction to A Course In Miracles:

“Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

On my own I am capable of nothing. Everything I did and tried to do in this world failed. There was always this longing for God in me. It did not make sense to me that I was in pain, thinking the most horrible things about myself and at the same time there was a God who loved me completely. Something was wrong with this picture. And somewhere I realized that it was me. The common denominator to all my problems. Since my best thinking had brought me to this devastation I knew my best thinking can´t get me out of it. I knew I needed help from something outside of me. Somebody that had already realized their Christ mind. It is amazing that in the moment that I am ready the answer is there for me as well. It showed up for me in the form of the Course in Miracles, answering my call for help, from outside this little box of space and time. I realized how much I had limited myself through the believes I held about myself. Everything that I believed about myself was a limit on the Son of God that I truly am. Now, when I step back and let him lead the way, I am certain that whatever occurs is for the best of everyone and everything. I know that I am not trapped through this body, I know that I can travel out into this universe, that has been waiting for me all along, whenever I want to. The decision and willingness is mine, the rest is God´s in which my complete trust lies.

How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose? My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave it simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner I would give up insane wishes, and walk into the sunlight at last. (Review Lesson of A Course In Miracles Lesson 31)

I love it! i love it! I love it! No matter in which situation I find myself I refuse to be the victim of it. This has been my complete salvation. Every day situation appear that make me believe that I have been unfairly treated. And it only depends on me, how I handle them. Who do I choose to be? The holy son of God?
This is not a comfortable teaching, it has nothing to do with comfort or how everything is love and peace, this is where the rubber meets the road. It all depends on a decision in my mind. And I can see how the imagery around me changes in the same moment when I take the decision.
The other day I had to wait for my car in Walmart wandering around through the aisle, I saw a lot of things that created a need for having them in me. I started to feel horrible, since I just perceived lack and the idea that I can’t have them because I can’t afford them. I already found myself getting fearful when I took the decision not to be the victim of this situation. The next thing that happened was that I ran into a brother, I asked for help and another brother showed up as well. So there we where creating a portal of light in the middle of Walmart, standing in the dedication of our singular purpose not to follow the laws of the world any longer but to leave space and time right there and then. Right here and now actually. All fear and lack are gone and what is left is love and peace that does not come from a result of anything, but just from the decision to let my mind be how it truly is. Which is giving and extending itself all the time. How then can I perceive lack, when I am giving myself away? Lack appeared when I started to demand from the universe rather than giving myself away. 
There is always something you can give no matter who you think you are, or where you think you are. You can give right now, what are you waiting for?

The lesson for today from A Course In Miracles is truly amazing and helpful to me. My mind tends to be preoccupied with hundreds of thoughts and ideas and problems and opinions and other stuff that makes it very hard to be free right now. In the midst of all that overwhelming life there is Jesus and his clear message that simplifies everything and brings all my worries doubts and fears to a halt. He just tells me that I have one problem. Yes, just one. In that moment I gather my fractured mind together and accept Jesus’ statement. My one problem is that I think I am separate from God. Let me recognize the problem so it can be solved. I just recognized the problem. I think I am separate from God. In an instant of frantic fear of separation and abandonment I created this whole world and gave it all my power. Then I carried on with my life thinking I could not do anything to change my world. Trapped in the prison I made up for myself, I saw tons of problems with no solutions anywhere in sight. And it is true there is no solution to my problem. Actually me trying to find a solution is what the problem is. Because I don’t even know what the problem is. Lesson 5 tells me: "I am never upset for the reason I think." How can I know the problem then. This whole world is all based on a wrong perspective and perception. So here comes Jesus telling me clearly what the problem is and now the solution is in sight as well. I know that that has to be it, because it did not come from me. My best thinking has gotten me into this mess that I call my world, so where is my best thinking going to take me? Probably not out of here. The Course In Miracles is this sane voice in my mind telling me clearly that I have only one problem and that this problem has already be solves. Since my mind still can’t grasped this fact I need the next lesson: "Let me recognize my problem has been solved."

I just wrote the most incredible blog post and I hit save and the connection timed out so that the post was gone. It must have been too good. That is what happens to messages that are too good, they disappear, they go where they come from and take me with them. Those messages can’t stay in space and time, they can’t be held bondage on a web page. But if you let them they will take you to a different place in your mind, a place that was not accessible to you before. But now in this new continuum of time everything changed, and all your old thoughts don’t mean anything anymore. You are completely now and that all just because of a blog post that didn’t want to share and justify your story here. Isn’t that amazing. Just from that blog post that you never got to read you have an experience of your awakening.