Ever doubted yourself and what you where doing? You gotta be kidding, you might think, “of course, I have doubted myself!” Who hasn’t. I at least don’t know anyone who has not doubted himself.
The course in miracles writes in the Epilog:
”Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain.  Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again.  Yet is the ending sure.  No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do.  When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart.  Who could despair when hope like this is his?  Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them.  Behind each one there is reality and there is God.”

It gets more and more painful, actually unbearable painful to not do what God has appointment me to do, and I am very grateful for that. I have never felt so much at peace with myself and aligned with the will of God.

Everything is coming together, and the things I think didn’t work suddenly appear as being brilliant. It’s that feeling of everything is clicking in. I have been in some sort of preparation that I would be ready for this time. It’s like building a website and then it’s ready to be published. I feel I have just been published. In other words I am growing up and putting myself out there. And the response is not devastating, but makes me really happy. I have been moving forward. And right now I just want to thank every one that has helped me along the way. I could have not done it without you.

Truth can not be learned, thought or acquired in any other form, but through the pure experience of it. Truth is true and nothing else is true. I could tell you what I experienced truth to be, but through your perception it would be so distorted that it would have again nothing to do with the truth. So right here in now I offer you the joining of our minds, and in that instant we can experience the truth of who we are together. Then there is no doubt of what that truth is, it is not open to discussion, it is too precious even to be talked about. Truth stands by it self it does not need defends of any kind. Anything that needs defends is not true.

This is from the Introduction to A Course In Miracles:

“Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose? My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave it simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner I would give up insane wishes, and walk into the sunlight at last. (Review Lesson of A Course In Miracles Lesson 31)

I love it! i love it! I love it! No matter in which situation I find myself I refuse to be the victim of it. This has been my complete salvation. Every day situation appear that make me believe that I have been unfairly treated. And it only depends on me, how I handle them. Who do I choose to be? The holy son of God?
This is not a comfortable teaching, it has nothing to do with comfort or how everything is love and peace, this is where the rubber meets the road. It all depends on a decision in my mind. And I can see how the imagery around me changes in the same moment when I take the decision.
The other day I had to wait for my car in Walmart wandering around through the aisle, I saw a lot of things that created a need for having them in me. I started to feel horrible, since I just perceived lack and the idea that I can’t have them because I can’t afford them. I already found myself getting fearful when I took the decision not to be the victim of this situation. The next thing that happened was that I ran into a brother, I asked for help and another brother showed up as well. So there we where creating a portal of light in the middle of Walmart, standing in the dedication of our singular purpose not to follow the laws of the world any longer but to leave space and time right there and then. Right here and now actually. All fear and lack are gone and what is left is love and peace that does not come from a result of anything, but just from the decision to let my mind be how it truly is. Which is giving and extending itself all the time. How then can I perceive lack, when I am giving myself away? Lack appeared when I started to demand from the universe rather than giving myself away. 
There is always something you can give no matter who you think you are, or where you think you are. You can give right now, what are you waiting for?

I just wrote the most incredible blog post and I hit save and the connection timed out so that the post was gone. It must have been too good. That is what happens to messages that are too good, they disappear, they go where they come from and take me with them. Those messages can’t stay in space and time, they can’t be held bondage on a web page. But if you let them they will take you to a different place in your mind, a place that was not accessible to you before. But now in this new continuum of time everything changed, and all your old thoughts don’t mean anything anymore. You are completely now and that all just because of a blog post that didn’t want to share and justify your story here. Isn’t that amazing. Just from that blog post that you never got to read you have an experience of your awakening.

You are way to beautiful to rot in this body
You are way to genius to keep yourself so small
You are way to valuable to keep yourself separate from God
You are way to meaningful to sustain barriers between you and your brother
You are way to divine to hide yourself
You are way to lovable to keep holding on to fear
You are way to trustworthy to keep yourself separate from everyone
You are way to holy to content yourself with the love from this world
You are way to awake to keep playing this role of past identity
You are way to certain to hold on to grievances
You are way to advanced not to go all the way
You are as God created you!

I love you!
It’s time to come home!

Hi!  I just wanted to invite you to the most incredible event, your resurrection .
Go to  the Miracles Healing Center Website to find out all the details.

The lesson for today from A Course In Miracles , "There is nothing to fear", just puts it so clear, I have no choice. I can just kick my own behind and let go all of my thoughts of fear that where lingering in my mind. Why would I wait for the fear to be converted and overcome, when Jesus is right here with me, telling me that I have no need for fear anymore. That literally now I can be free and go on with what my father wills for me.

The healing occurs when I least expect it. It’s just there coming out of nowhere. But at the same time emerging out of the necessity  for it. It had become a necessity that I gave up on. Healing is not the result of anything. To heal is to make happy. To heal is to make whole.

Why am I only nice to you when I heard that you are having a bad time? Why do I only care when I get something out of it? There are no answers just actions. Actions that get me far beyond my plain lazy being Mrs. spoiled brat. Being the victim of my dream. It really depends on me and my honest extension of myself no matter what the situation may be. The only answer there is is love. And I pretend I don’t care, pretend that you are not even there. So I can stay in my save zone. God, I am dying, but I am save in my little box. Why? Just to keep my Ego- Identity in place. So don’t rock my boat, it’s so comfortable, I am in pain but it is so comfortable. Do you remember that thinking?…That is over now…
Now is the time to forgive and get out of here. So I forgive you, and I am truly sorry for not caring, for not being a true friend. For choosing comfort over action. For being so self involved that I literally didn’t see you. That I just wanted you to recognize me, but did not care to give anything myself.
I am sorry. And now I am going out without knowing. Are you coming?

It’s one of these days, where I prayed for peace the moment I woke up and all that has been happening to me is the opposite. Does God have a good sense of humor, or do I have no clue what’s going on? The good thing that I experienced today was, that I let myself be exactly the way I was, I felt bad and that’s just how it was. I think I have never gotten so many hugs. When I think back now I start to smile, out of nowhere people come just hugging me today. That’s so incredible. All those other days when I think I have it together, I am actually defending myself from love. I don’t have it together and I never will. But I will go out without knowing. With the trust that I am taken care of.