As I was reading through a 12 step book one line jumped out at me. It talked about one of 12 Step Promises.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. The author says that the fear might not be gone all together, but the less she thinks she needs to impress people the less afraid she is.
So the whole day I had that phrase in my mind, I don’t need to impress you! I don’t need to impress you!
Only then did I realize that often my motivation was to impress someone.
I have to recognize the problem so it can be solved.
The moment when I realized I wanted to impress everyone this huge pressure fell from me. Oh my God, I had no idea. Or maybe I did in the back of my mind, but it was not conscious so I counld’nt change it.
I feel completely happy and free. That same day I was at a party, and I never experienced myself so relaxed and at easy around. I don’t need to impress you! - a statement of freedom and joy. It really works if I work it.
I love it!!!!!!!!!

As I am approaching making amends my sponsor gave me this prayer, that works every time in the most miraculous way.
The 5 rights prayer:
I pray for
the right time
the right place
the right attitude on my part
the right receptivity on the other part
and the right outcome for everyone involved
Amen.
Thank you!

No, not everything is always perfect, but I gotta start to be grateful somewhere, sometimes for something. I always want everything perfect so I can be happy. Happiness is not a result. The Course in Miracles does not teach me results. It does not teach me before and after. Or a process with which I can achieve my happiness.
A Course in Miracles gives me a release from everything here and now.

Like the lesson for today: “Nothing I see means anything”. It has nothing to do with anything that I think, it takes me out of any thought process that I am in, and catapults me into this moment, it’s irresistible. That’s why I love it so much.