That is the energy for me at the moment - completely different, completely new. I have been replaced in my entirety. The next moment is uncertain and the only strength is the trust in my goal - which is GOD - which is the only certain thing in my mind. So that I can cope with all that uncertainty I used to establish standards in which to judge every situation. And when a situation was not in my frame of reference I would set up new standards that met that particular situation.
This morning I chucked them all out. I was the one who established them in the first place, and I was limiting myself by them. Oh my God, what a relief.

"Let all things be exactly as they are."
“Let me not be Your critic, Lord, today, and judge against You. Let me not attempt to interfere with Your creation, and distort it into sickly forms. Let me be willing to withdraw my wishes from its unity, and thus to let it be as You created it. For thus will I be able, too, to recognize my Self as You created me. In Love was I created, and in Love will I remain forever. What can frighten me when I let all things be exactly as they are?”

Let not our sight be blasphemous today, nor let our ears attend to lying tongues. Only reality is free of pain. Only reality is free of loss. Only reality is wholly safe. And it is only this we seek today.
(Lesson 268 from A Course In Miracles)

And the other Lesson that comes to mind is:

“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
I will be honest with myself today. I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. Today I recognize that this is so. And so I am relieved of judgement which I cannot make. Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us.

“Father, today I leave creation free to be itself. I honor all the parts, in which I am included. We are one because each part contains Your memory, and truth must shine in all of us as one.”
Lesson 243 from A Course In Miracles

 
Deepak Chopra mentions this lesson in his book “The seven spiritual laws of success.”  I just started to read it, and I was amazed that in the first exercise he suggests the reader to do this lesson everyday. To start the day without judging and to remind myself through out the day not to judge.

That is what happened to me when I chucked the foundation of all judgments my standards out of my mind. Neither bad nor good is desirable, both are judgments and limit myself and my Self expression. No – “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.” And “I let all things be exactly as they are.”
Finally I let my mind go, he already knows where he needs to go and where he is at home. I will not trap my mind in idol dreams that I have made, and that I thought will bring solution to my mind. Today I am free of all of my plans and I am free to be who I truly am. Finally, thank you!

Nothing gets done if I don’t start. It’s very easy to get caught up in planning, analyzing, organizing. Don’t waste your time preparing for something that is already over. Do you find yourself reading all those spiritual books that tell you how to prepare yourself for God, or that give you a process to get to God? There is no process to your awakening, there is no way to God. It is a journey without distance, in an instant of reality. How long are you planning on practicing to be in the here and now? How long are you waiting for some enlightened guy outside of you to save you? I hope by now you saw the insanity of the human mind. That is doing everything not to be where they are and not to be who they are. To be or not to be is not a question anymore. You already are. That is unavoidable. Blaming someone else for it wont help you out anymore. It’s really time that I cut to the chase here and take responsibility for me, my mind, my life. It is amazing how much easier life gets. That is nothing else but growing up. Have you every blamed someone outside of yourself for any situation? YES?

That means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life. 
Are you willing to take full responsibility of your life?
Do it now… Action! Without that nothing will ever happen, nothing will ever change… you’ll be the same old stinking you, and it’s entirely your fault…

On my own I am capable of nothing. Everything I did and tried to do in this world failed. There was always this longing for God in me. It did not make sense to me that I was in pain, thinking the most horrible things about myself and at the same time there was a God who loved me completely. Something was wrong with this picture. And somewhere I realized that it was me. The common denominator to all my problems. Since my best thinking had brought me to this devastation I knew my best thinking can´t get me out of it. I knew I needed help from something outside of me. Somebody that had already realized their Christ mind. It is amazing that in the moment that I am ready the answer is there for me as well. It showed up for me in the form of the Course in Miracles, answering my call for help, from outside this little box of space and time. I realized how much I had limited myself through the believes I held about myself. Everything that I believed about myself was a limit on the Son of God that I truly am. Now, when I step back and let him lead the way, I am certain that whatever occurs is for the best of everyone and everything. I know that I am not trapped through this body, I know that I can travel out into this universe, that has been waiting for me all along, whenever I want to. The decision and willingness is mine, the rest is God´s in which my complete trust lies.

How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose? My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave it simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner I would give up insane wishes, and walk into the sunlight at last. (Review Lesson of A Course In Miracles Lesson 31)

I love it! i love it! I love it! No matter in which situation I find myself I refuse to be the victim of it. This has been my complete salvation. Every day situation appear that make me believe that I have been unfairly treated. And it only depends on me, how I handle them. Who do I choose to be? The holy son of God?
This is not a comfortable teaching, it has nothing to do with comfort or how everything is love and peace, this is where the rubber meets the road. It all depends on a decision in my mind. And I can see how the imagery around me changes in the same moment when I take the decision.
The other day I had to wait for my car in Walmart wandering around through the aisle, I saw a lot of things that created a need for having them in me. I started to feel horrible, since I just perceived lack and the idea that I can’t have them because I can’t afford them. I already found myself getting fearful when I took the decision not to be the victim of this situation. The next thing that happened was that I ran into a brother, I asked for help and another brother showed up as well. So there we where creating a portal of light in the middle of Walmart, standing in the dedication of our singular purpose not to follow the laws of the world any longer but to leave space and time right there and then. Right here and now actually. All fear and lack are gone and what is left is love and peace that does not come from a result of anything, but just from the decision to let my mind be how it truly is. Which is giving and extending itself all the time. How then can I perceive lack, when I am giving myself away? Lack appeared when I started to demand from the universe rather than giving myself away. 
There is always something you can give no matter who you think you are, or where you think you are. You can give right now, what are you waiting for?

You are way to beautiful to rot in this body
You are way to genius to keep yourself so small
You are way to valuable to keep yourself separate from God
You are way to meaningful to sustain barriers between you and your brother
You are way to divine to hide yourself
You are way to lovable to keep holding on to fear
You are way to trustworthy to keep yourself separate from everyone
You are way to holy to content yourself with the love from this world
You are way to awake to keep playing this role of past identity
You are way to certain to hold on to grievances
You are way to advanced not to go all the way
You are as God created you!

I love you!
It’s time to come home!

Why am I only nice to you when I heard that you are having a bad time? Why do I only care when I get something out of it? There are no answers just actions. Actions that get me far beyond my plain lazy being Mrs. spoiled brat. Being the victim of my dream. It really depends on me and my honest extension of myself no matter what the situation may be. The only answer there is is love. And I pretend I don’t care, pretend that you are not even there. So I can stay in my save zone. God, I am dying, but I am save in my little box. Why? Just to keep my Ego- Identity in place. So don’t rock my boat, it’s so comfortable, I am in pain but it is so comfortable. Do you remember that thinking?…That is over now…
Now is the time to forgive and get out of here. So I forgive you, and I am truly sorry for not caring, for not being a true friend. For choosing comfort over action. For being so self involved that I literally didn’t see you. That I just wanted you to recognize me, but did not care to give anything myself.
I am sorry. And now I am going out without knowing. Are you coming?

It’s one of these days, where I prayed for peace the moment I woke up and all that has been happening to me is the opposite. Does God have a good sense of humor, or do I have no clue what’s going on? The good thing that I experienced today was, that I let myself be exactly the way I was, I felt bad and that’s just how it was. I think I have never gotten so many hugs. When I think back now I start to smile, out of nowhere people come just hugging me today. That’s so incredible. All those other days when I think I have it together, I am actually defending myself from love. I don’t have it together and I never will. But I will go out without knowing. With the trust that I am taken care of.

The only thing that will every make you happy is a full commitment to something. Happiness is what commitment is. I am committed to my happiness. It’s like what I want I get. It’s the idea of cause and effect. What a human being forgets it, that God is it’s cause and not the world. The body makes us believe that this world created us and therefore are we it’s effect and the world is our cause. So we have responsibilities to the world. We owe the world. We get caught up in that game. God is our cause and we are his effect. We did not create ourselves. The commitment to God is the commitment to the believe in your true cause. Gods will for us is perfect Happiness. So my commitment to God is my commitment to my happiness.

I can never tell if I am awake or if I fell asleep again. In the bible it said that Adam feel asleep but nowhere does it say that he woke up. Yes, this is a dream we agreed to that already and had a clear experience of the none reality of this place. This is the beginning of my awakening. But in that journey of my awakening I can never really tell where I am. Where am I in the process of waking up. And all of a sudden I get really happy. I have been trying to wake up for far to long. Have been trying so hard, doing everything that I think is required of me. When in truth I don’t even know what I need to do. All I know is that I don’t have to try so hard . It’s let go and let GOD right? I seem to forget that.
And that is what falling asleep is, just forgetting that I am not in charge. Forgetting that I do have a choice and are able to leave space and time in an instant of letting go. That I am not bound by any laws of man. That I am free, the Holy Son of God himself.

Today is cleaning day, like everyday, I am taking the trash out! - The trash of my mind. Like dust it accumulates so fast, and I don’t really know where it comes from and suddenly a trigger is pulled and I get pissed and I don’t even know why. That is why it is so important for me to do the mind training of A Course In Miracles every waking hour. What does that have to do with trash? Because through applying the ideas given me from the course I have to let go of every single thought that I hold about myself, and about everything else. To be free and in peace. Flash the toilet of your mind and let go of all that has been bothering you, forgiveness is another word for letting go all those silly ideas that keep me trapped and make my life miserable. Yeah it is just time to wake up and realize that all of my ideas are completely wrong, that they don’t mean anything and that I am still as God created me. That I can make my life so much easier by letting go and letting God. So flush that toilet, dust those corners of your mind and take the trash out, it’s about time for you to be free.