I am my own certainty!
There is nothing like being certain about who I am. That is the only thing no one can ever take away from me. That is the spring board into the total freedom of my mind. “Don’t let the world tell you who you are” is my teachers favorite sentence for me. And I thought I got it, and then again I thought I got it, but now I think that I am starting to get it. Spiritual awakening is nothing that can be understood with a conceptual mind. It is occurring to you in whatever from you allow it to occur. But it is happening. Every moment is the enfoldment of the most precious moment, that has been given me to be certain. That moment is the moment of healing my mind from all the guilt, fear, pride and wrong perception I put out there. Out there to avoid the emptiness inside. This moment has been given me to fill this emptiness with light. Light is certainty of self. I am that light.
I want to share Lesson 50 from A Course In Miracles with you. This Lesson just blows me away.
“Here is the answer to every problem that confronts you today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, “protective” clothing, “influence,” “prestige,” being liked, knowing the “right” people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness which you endow with magical powers. All these things are your replacements for the Love of God. All these things are cherished to ensure a body identification. They are songs of praise to the ego.
Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you. Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind which nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God.
Put not your faith in illusions. They will fail you. Put all your faith in the Love of God within you, eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today. Through the Love of God in you, you can resolve all seeming difficulties without effort and in sure confidence. Tell yourself this often today. It is a declaration of release from the belief in idols. It is your acknowledgment of the truth about yourself.
Twice today, morning and evening, let the idea for today sink deep into your consciousness. Repeat it, think about it, let related thoughts come to help you recognize its truth, and allow peace to flow over you like a blanket of protection and surety. Let no idle and foolish thoughts enter to disturb the holy mind of the Son of God. Such is the Kingdom of Heaven. Such is the resting-place where your Father has placed you forever.”
Fear of Healing
You are sick for a purpose. But it’s not the purpose you think. It’s not that God has put upon you this spell of sickness that you can learn a valuable lesson. I mean, who is God if he has to hurt his son to learn, that just does not make sense at all. But you are sick because you want to be. You are getting something out of your sickness and that is why it has a very specific purpose for you.
That’s why taking medicine does not really heal your sickness, because your sickness is just a symptom, it’s not the source of the problem. And as you might have experienced before, when you remove a weed without it’s roots it will sooner or later grow back. So the sickness will come back again and again until the underlying problem has been solved and healed. So you are afraid of healing because you have set up this whole defense system not to be wholly joyous and open to communicate the pure love of God. Your sickness lets you stay small and lets you operate in the manner familiar to you. Yes, when you really question it and really look at the cause of the sickness, it does not make sense to keep it at all. That’s why you do everything not to find out what the cause of the sickness is. You don’t want to be healed, you don’t want to change. You don’t want your mind to be turned upside down and disappear into the heart of God, because you are so attached to what you think reality is. This reality that you judge as being true is beginning to crumble all around you. There is really no foundation for you to stand on anymore. And still the resistance to change is too big to actually let go of your identity. It’s always the same old story.
We have one problem – that is that we think we are separate from God – and one solution – that God who is all powerful just can’t be separate from you. And we are trying everything not to remember that premise. I don’t know what it will take for you to step out without knowing and let yourself be healed from all the ancient hurts you carry around. But I do know that reading this article is the beginning of what is going to be the best journey of your life. The journey home to your Father.
Get in the game
Just get in the game. Just do it. What are you waiting for? The incredible thing is once you just moved one little step toward God, the doors open and the flood is ready to wipe all your concepts away and release you from all the past and let you enter in this moment with a totally new mind. It happens to me that I stumble around, pissed, full with grievances but still expecting joy in my life. And then through a miracle a trigger gets released and I do something different in my mind. Joy requires a different action.
The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That is the human condition. Haven´t we learned anything? Haven´t I learned anything? Apparently not.
Chasing the same rainbows that can never be reached. This whole life is a compensation, me compensating for how unworthy I feel. Me trying, with everything that I am, to squeeze some sort of funniness or contribution out of me. But there is nothing. Nothing that I could share with you. And in all of this human insanity the light shines with equal strength and clarity. Through the light I realize that I don´t need to give you anything. That I am enough. That God is enough. That God loves me so much and has given me everything. The whole pressure falls off me. That is the opening, the first step that is required. The step that I can´t stand the situation anymore and that I want a change. Ask and it shall be given. Knock and the door will be opened. And I asked and everything was given and I knocked and he opened for me and the light shines the darkness away. And what is left is pure light extending forever.
Change one thing
In the simplicity of just the minimalistic idea of changing just 1 thing lies for me over and over again the miracle that I have been praying for. A miracle is an act. It’s not a phenomenon that is going to happen to you, but an active decision for a change in your mind. There are no difficulties in miracles. The miracle principles from the first Chapter of a Course in Miracles hits me already like a pan on the head, telling me to wake up and not differentiate between the fragmented parts of my world. Your awakening is as certain as the fact that you can’t do anything for it or the believe that all of your efforts will be rewarded greatly. All of your efforts are not necessary for the recognition that you are already the holy son of God. Awakening is not a doing it is an undoing of all the concepts that you are stubbornly holding unto. We all have it backwards, working on ourselves trying to improve the thing that we think we are, trying to be spiritual correct in order to get to the imagined goal to be one with the universe and joyous and happy.
And when we are there, when we jump for joy and gratitude we realize that our effort was not necessary, that we are as God created us and we are wholly loved and wholly lovable.
So is all the effort necessary? Yes but only for the recognition that it is not necessary. I need to do stuff, be passionate about something, but I do not need to work on myself and figure myself out. That will be a byproduct of being passionate about something.
The one thing I need to change is my idea about myself, for me that always starts with little acts of kindness toward myself and expands from there on outward an ever expanding miracle who’s blessing I am unable to count. That’s why I call this blog explosion of gratitude at least for now.
Taking time for yourself!
There is a times to totally go for it and be active and other times for rest and stillness. Today is a day of that for me. A day in light with God looking at everything from above, from the big picture. We get lost sometimes in the details of the everyday situations. And even Michael Gerber writes in his book: “Awakening the Entrepreneur within”, that without stopping and looking at the goals and the overview, you will get lost in the technical part, in this case it is in a company, you will forget about the big picture and goals and therefor your company is most likely to fail.
I found that to be totally true in my awakening as well. I need to step back and expand my mind outwards and for a moment let everything be exactly as it is and at the same time let it change through the light. I need that moment of remembering where I am going and who I really am. Even if it looks like that time is not productive in a worldly sense, it brings me so much peace and certainty and is very powerful. That moment of rest. Everyone writes about meditation and stillness and all those spiritual practices and although I don’t call it like that I do what I need to do for my mind to keep clear and empty. This is an invitation for you to take a moment for yourself. And the great thing is it doesn’t take that long. Although it can be rewarding when you spend longer in that space with God. It´s the action of you, checking in with God. Talking to your father and really listening to him. For me this time of Christmas and New Year is a time of reflection and really looking from the higher plane. Although it is good to do that more regularly and keep your mind and channel to God really clear, this time is just a time where I look deeper. Probably also of my situation, where I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Where I follow God´s guidance in every way. But sometimes I doubt that guidance, thinking, that I should be doing something else. This time of contemplation gives me again the certainty that God´s will for me is perfect happiness and with that as my highest priority I will start this year with a leap into heaven.
Standing in the forgiven world
Forgiveness is the key to happiness. (A Course In Miracles Lesson 121) Forgiveness offers me everything I want. (A Course In Miracles Lesson 122) Forgiveness is a practice that lets me see that nothing ever happened. That the grievance that I once hold onto just verified my identity. The other person played the perfect role, so I could justify myself as a victim. And also justified my need to practice forgiveness. Being a victim I am poor and in need of a lot of help. There is this aura of neediness and fear around me and I can never truly let anyone join with me completely or let myself be loved completely. There is never a shortage of situations that I need to forgive. And in that I can get caught up in forgiveness. But there is a also time when I need to go beyond forgiveness and just accept the reality about myself which is the holy son of God himself. With that acceptance I stand in the certainty that it has been accomplished. I stand in the forgiven world. From that point I am free to and open to receive instructions from the universe. I am free to be new and not hold unto the past. It is the moment when I recognize, that I have not done anything wrong. That I am without guilt and that I am the expression of the certainty of God’s love. That everything that ever happened was perfectly orchestrated to lead me to this point of my awakening. Were I have finally gotten over myself and joined in with several other teachers of God in a whole communication.
Honesty
The second Characteristic of a teacher of God is honesty.
II. Honesty
All other traits of God’s teachers rest on trust. Once that has been achieved, the others cannot fail to follow. Only the trusting can afford honesty, for only they can see its value. Honesty does not apply only to what you say. The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.
The peace of mind which the advanced teachers of God experience is largely due to their perfect honesty. It is only the wish to deceive that makes for war. No one at one with himself can even conceive of conflict. Conflict is the inevitable result of self-deception, and self-deception is dishonesty. There is no challenge to a teacher of God. Challenge implies doubt, and the trust on which God’s teachers rest secure makes doubt impossible. Therefore they can only succeed. In this, as in all things, they are honest. They can only succeed, because they never do their will alone. They choose for all mankind; for all the world and all things in it; for the unchanging and unchangeable beyond appearances; and for the Son of God and his Creator. How could they not succeed? They choose in perfect honesty, sure of their choice as of themselves.
Beyond my self identity
The last few weeks were incredible. A month ago I packed my suitcase and since then I have been traveling all over, wherever I was invited. It is such an adventure to be open to the present moment and let myself completely be used. I love it.
My life stopped a few weeks ago, when I realized that there was no place on earth where I had to be nor anything that I had to do. Finally I was ready to be completely used by Jesus, to truly fulfill my function. Finally I had used everything up that constituted the development of my identity here. The freedom of the deliverance of my self constructed identity is enormous. I am not myself alone. The universe does not recognize the little self that I have made. So when I am caught up with my body and my identity I am literally nothing, I am not seen by the universe. No wonder I felt worthless, lonely and not loved – I didn´t even exist. The joke was on me again. Now I can laugh, having once again joined the universe in a mission beyond my little self identity. Beyond the necessity to proof myself to God who already created me perfect. Now I accept the fear that I find myself in and use it as an ignition for love. It´s just energy. It´s all just energy that expresses itself through me.
The end of fear, doubt and jealousy as the end of yourself.
Have you lived your life in a state where fear dominated and happiness was a nice short break from the agony of not knowing who you are and what exactly it is that you are doing here? Have you prayed to God and felt no change in you? That describes how I was and felt. Lost in accumulation of different activities to find some meaning here and to make it all worth while. While in me nagging was this constant feeling of failure. Where it came from I did not know. But I knew I believed in it and gave it meaning. All the meaning it had for me. It gave me the strength to keep myself small, to hide my light and pretend that who I am doesn’t matter. And that it is ok with me to deny myself everything. You are so immersed with that image that you have of yourself that even if you heard that it is not true you would not believe it. You would also not believe that God love you so much. That he misses you. So this is an impossible situation for both of us. You because you want a different experience of yourself but keep holding on to your self image with everything that you have got. And me because God’s love is shining in me now and I don’t believe a word that you are telling me about yourself. Letting go of your self image seems impossible. But it is not only necessary but also inevitable. There is a light in you the universe longs to behold. “If you but knew how much your Father yearns to have you recognize your sinlessness, you would not let his Voice appeal in vain, nor turn away from His replacement for the fearful images and dreams you made.
(A Course In Miracles, Workbook, What is the holy spirit?)
Coming to terms with your own mind
There is only you. You in your own mind that is what it comes down to. There are too many tricks the mind plays with us day in and day out. It creates the perfect ilussion that I am the victim and that I have to justify the things that I do or don’t do. In all of the struggle of the mind to just be at the peace there is a moment where you you can’t stand it any more and just stop it. It always comes from my own mind not wanting the struggle anymore. Happiness is a decicion I must make. The same as heaven and any other thing.
Jesus told me through a course in miracles that he can’t take away fear from me, otherwise I would not recognise that power of my mind anymore. That is really amazing to me. It is my decision not to be in fear anymore and noone can help me with this. It’s like all of Jesus’s instruction the clearest of all. Just don’t do it anymore. The whole power of the universe is given me. What do I use it for? For my little live? To transform it and feel a little happier? Or do I realize the function that I have been given to be the light of the world in every instant. And make everyone around me happy no matter what senario. Don’t get fooled with everything that the illusion bring. There is only one anwer to everything and that is love. Pure love. Because that is what you are. That is the challenge to not except anything else from yourself and anyone else. You are not the victim of you mind. You are everything there is and so all powerful. There is nothing to be afraid of and nothing to blame for your missery. It’s an invitation to live and rejoice in the love that you are!
