Activation of my mind.

Whenever I think of writing a blogpost I have incredible ideas, and by the time I get to the computer and sit in front of the screen all the ideas are gone. I don’t like that fact, because I end up not writing blogpost for a long time, although I think about it a lot. But that is not the same of course. That is the same with the Course, I can think of it all I want, and the ideas are beautiful and everything, but until I take the action to practice the course and be a miracle worker myself, absolutely nothing will happen. There is nothing more active than not doing anything. If I want something to happen in my life I have to give it energy. What give energy to expands. Yes, I give my life and will over to God and I will get all of God’s help, but it is up to me to activate that in my mind and to actively foster that. My awakening does not happen without me, although it happens despite of me.
Whatever you want to happen to you or in your life - DO IT! Wow what a concept, what a simplicity, but still it seams so hard sometimes. It’s easier to blame God for the thing that don’t happen and for the unhappiness that I experience. God is not responsible for my experience here, I am. This is the only way out of here for me.

The end of guilt

Guilt starts and ends with me. Lately I have discovered so much hidden guilt in me, that I think I have never allowed to surface. So I have read the most dominant parts in the Course that talk about guilt. Guilt is always the idea of separation and special relationships. I want to hide something from you, because I don’t take the responsibility for my actions. It always comes down to my responsibility. It’s the action of defending myself from you, because I think you expect something from me, or I am not good enough. I have actually already judged you and so I have to behave through this judgment now, in order not to let myself down. What a screwed up mind twist that is. I am always just hurting myself.
And now I invite you to make the last “sacrifice”: the “sacrifice” of fear

I gladly make the ‘sacrifice’ of fear.

“Here is the only ‘sacrifice’ You ask of Your beloved Son; You ask him to give up all suffering, all sense of loss and sadness, all anxiety and doubt, and freely let Your Love come streaming in to his awareness, healing him of pain, and giving him Your own eternal joy. Such is the ‘sacrifice’ You ask of me, and one I gladly make; the only ‘cost’ of restoration of Your memory to me, for the salvation of the world.”

And as we pay the debt we owe to truth – a debt which merely is the letting-go of self-deceptions and of images we worshipped falsely – truth returns to us in wholeness and in joy. We are deceived no longer. Love has now returned to our awareness. And we are at peace again, for fear has gone and only Love remains.
- A Course in Miracles, Lesson 323

Why I love the Course in Miracles so much

A Course in Miracles is truly a master piece that goes way beyond anything that I can change with my human understanding. That’s why it doesn’t tell me to drink 8 cups of water a day. Or what the best sleeping cycle is, or what to do, or to only say good things. It’s is far beyond that, and that is what irritated me for a long time. I was looking for that perfect way to live. The perfect process to get happy. Some secret that I felt was missing in my live, but already existed in every one else’ live.
The Course in Miracles also goes beyond consciousness. It changes me where the only change is possible, at the roots of the roots at the point what I am one with God. Where there is actually no change possible, so that’s why there is also no process to get there. It’s just my recognition right now, that I am whole and perfect as God created me. I am free to be myself. I am already worthy of everyone’s love and God’s gifts.
So you are invited to let yourself be healed in stopping to search for something that you can never find.

Impossibility of blogging

It’s impossible to keep up a blog for a whole mind, because what I wrote yesterday is already so obsolete, it’s gone and over and my new mind does not have a link of memory to the past. Did that really happen to me? It doesn’t sound right anymore today. So to keeping up this blog is a moment to moment endeavor. Forgiving myself moment to moment from where I thought I was, to coming into the present. So I just hope that wherever you are in your mind right now that whatever I am expressing at the moment will make sense to you and help you increase the frequency of your mind. My fear as an awakened mind is always to be off, not to be on the mark, but how can I be off if I am a whole mind. There are so many questions that I don’t even want answers for, because they disappear in a moment of release. And that is all the course is offering me in every instant to release my mind from everything that I think, everything that is going on. And be completely brand new. Without letting go of myself I can’t even be real for a moment, because I am just always past and there for actually dead, not existent. That state becomes really painful when I am aware of it. Thank God for my brothers and the Course in Miracles that always gets me out of it in an instant and reminds me of the truth of who I really am.
I mean look at the first lesson of the Course: “Nothing I see means anything. “ And then the 5^th one: “You are never upset for the reason you think.” And Lesson Nr. 35: “I am not the victim of the world I see.” These are amongst my favorite ones. They just show me in an instant that I am completely wrong, that what I think is going on is not so. There is actually nothing else to say except the invitation for a great experiment to let that be so for you. Let the lessons speak for themselves and let them work you. The outcome is a freedom that you can’t imagine right now, because you are in it, way to deep. You need to get out all the way, to see how beautiful you really are. With that being said, this is a miracle and takes the grace of God for it to be fulfilled.

Beyond codependency…

and into the dependency in God…
I want to thank you for being beside me today.  Just your presence made me feel save, made me extend myself and not stay closed within myself.
I was called upon to stand in my certainty in that moment, and give although I just wanted to get and demand, but it was impossible. Every time I thought that you would go away leaving me alone I felt dependent on you and I knew that could not be it. That triggered the action of giving in me. Every time I give I feel so full and whole. I can really allow myself to love completely beyond any of my ideas. The extension of my mind is just that, to allow myself to express what I am and that is just love itself. Oh, my God for way to long have I hidden that emotion of the eternal love of God and have labeled it something else, suffering away in an endless search for meaning where there was none. When I am in the light with you all of that falls away and my function is clearly revealed to me. My function of giving  and extending beyond what I think is possible. I know that I am completely affecting everything around me with my decision to be whole. That is to include you in finally within my mind and reveal myself to you. I am not afraid anymore that you could leave because I have already given you everything, I have already been made whole through our joining.
In Chapter 8 in the holy encounter of the Course in Miracles, Jesus describes this like this:
“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose sight of yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet they are given another chance at Salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation TO him and receiving it yourself. For I am always there WITH you, in remembrance of YOU.”

This is an invitation to a holy encounter. I want to see you as I see myself and be healed in that one instant of our meeting here. It only takes one instant.
Thank you so much for being there.

I can’t do it without you!

Ever doubted yourself and what you where doing? You gotta be kidding, you might think, “of course, I have doubted myself!” Who hasn’t. I at least don’t know anyone who has not doubted himself.
The Course in Miracles writes in the Epilog:
”Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain.  Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again.  Yet is the ending sure.  No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do.  When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart.  Who could despair when hope like this is his?  Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them.  Behind each one there is reality and there is God.”

It gets more and more painful, actually unbearable painful to not do what God has appointment me to do, and I am very grateful for that. I have never felt so much at peace with myself and aligned with the will of God.

Everything is coming together, and the things I think didn’t work suddenly appear as being brilliant. It’s that feeling of everything is clicking in. I have been in some sort of preparation that I would be ready for this time. It’s like building a website and then it’s ready to be published. I feel I have just been published. In other words I am growing up and putting myself out there. And the response is not devastating, but makes me really happy. I have been moving forward. And right now I just want to thank every one that has helped me along the way. I could have not done it without you.

When I am ready, the Universe is all over me!

This was just one of those days, where ideas flew everywhere, and I could actually execute them and they took me further that I could have imagined.
Ideas come in triggered by you and I take them and create my own out of it. Ideas expand through giving them away. I guess this is just about everything is an idea. And it is I am the creator that brings those ides in from. And the most amazing thing is that it the idea is just my memory of me actually having done the process of creating already. The idea is a future memory. Right now I am remembering how I woke up, and then I am in the experience of it. So everything is already passed. When I am really passionate about it I know that I have done it before. I have all the confidence in the universe and nothing can stop me. That is when my will has aligned itself with the will of God and I have no choice but following that urge.
There was a really incredible healer during world war II in German, he would heal the masses with his energy. The doctors did not like that and forbade him to heal. Unable to express is God given gift and passion, his throat – the source of his power – grew bigger and bigger and at the end he burnt out. All this energy had no where to go.

This is a wake up call for me, to do what I came here to do, to spread the message of A Course in Miracles, which for me in essence is just the love that God has for us, and that he doesn’t know anything about this world. I am not from here, and that’s why I can be here and not take this serious but just shine my light in this world and be creative in the conversion of my dream. I totally love it. This blog is just for myself. I reread it and have an experience, and can actually hear myself. This is great. This is my invitation for you to go out and do the thing that you always wanted to do. You got nothing to loose. Celebrate your success no one else will!!!!!

Creative expression

Writing a blog post is a bit like writing lyrics, I am starting with a blank page, in the hope that something brilliant will develop. Hoping that the mind is being creative and pours its heart out. It is always a hope that people will like it. But when I need you to like it then I have already lost. I cannot love what I need. The inspiration comes from a need, a need deep within that wants to come out – a creative force that we all have.
Jesus says in the bible: ”Unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Children don’t need approval for their creativity, they don’t care they just express what is in front of them. And we “grown ups” we have to read a thousand books on creativity and being in the now, to come to this glorious state where we can be happy for an instant. Have you ever looked at it, have you ever experience the insanity of a human mind?
In every moment there is so much offered to us, and we can’t see it because we are so busy finding God. The problem with finding God is: “That he is everywhere!”
God is not lost you are!

And now for something completely different!

That is the energy for me at the moment - completely different, completely new. I have been replaced in my entirety. The next moment is uncertain and the only strength is the trust in my goal - which is GOD - which is the only certain thing in my mind. So that I can cope with all that uncertainty I used to establish standards in which to judge every situation. And when a situation was not in my frame of reference I would set up new standards that met that particular situation.
This morning I chucked them all out. I was the one who established them in the first place, and I was limiting myself by them. Oh my God, what a relief.

“Let all things be exactly as they are.”
“Let me not be Your critic, Lord, today, and judge against You. Let me not attempt to interfere with Your creation, and distort it into sickly forms. Let me be willing to withdraw my wishes from its unity, and thus to let it be as You created it. For thus will I be able, too, to recognize my Self as You created me. In Love was I created, and in Love will I remain forever. What can frighten me when I let all things be exactly as they are?”

Let not our sight be blasphemous today, nor let our ears attend to lying tongues. Only reality is free of pain. Only reality is free of loss. Only reality is wholly safe. And it is only this we seek today.
(Lesson 268 from A Course In Miracles)

And the other Lesson that comes to mind is:

“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
I will be honest with myself today. I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. Today I recognize that this is so. And so I am relieved of judgement which I cannot make. Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us.

“Father, today I leave creation free to be itself. I honor all the parts, in which I am included. We are one because each part contains Your memory, and truth must shine in all of us as one.”
Lesson 243 from A Course In Miracles

Deepak Chopra mentions this lesson in his book “The seven spiritual laws of success.” I just started to read it, and I was amazed that in the first exercise he suggests the reader to do this lesson everyday. To start the day without judging and to remind myself through out the day not to judge.

That is what happened to me when I chucked the foundation of all judgments my standards out of my mind. Neither bad nor good is desirable, both are judgments and limit myself and my Self expression. No – “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.” And “I let all things be exactly as they are.”
Finally I let my mind go, he already knows where he needs to go and where he is at home. I will not trap my mind in idol dreams that I have made, and that I thought will bring solution to my mind. Today I am free of all of my plans and I am free to be who I truly am. Finally, thank you!

Action!

Nothing gets done if I don’t start. It’s very easy to get caught up in planning, analyzing, organizing. Don’t waste your time preparing for something that is already over. Do you find yourself reading all those spiritual books that tell you how to prepare yourself for God, or that give you a process to get to God? There is no process to your awakening, there is no way to God. It is a journey without distance, in an instant of reality. How long are you planning on practicing to be in the here and now? How long are you waiting for some enlightened guy outside of you to save you? I hope by now you saw the insanity of the human mind. That is doing everything not to be where they are and not to be who they are. To be or not to be is not a question anymore. You already are. That is unavoidable. Blaming someone else for it wont help you out anymore. It’s really time that I cut to the chase here and take responsibility for me, my mind, my life. It is amazing how much easier life gets. That is nothing else but growing up. Have you every blamed someone outside of yourself for any situation? YES?

That means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life.
Are you willing to take full responsibility of your life?
Do it now… Action! Without that nothing will ever happen, nothing will ever change… you’ll be the same old stinking you, and it’s entirely your fault…

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