The end of guilt

Guilt starts and ends with me. Lately I have discovered so much hidden guilt in me, that I think I have never allowed to surface. So I have read the most dominant parts in the Course that talk about guilt. Guilt is always the idea of separation and special relationships. I want to hide something from you, because I don’t take the responsibility for my actions. It always comes down to my responsibility. It’s the action of defending myself from you, because I think you expect something from me, or I am not good enough. I have actually already judged you and so I have to behave through this judgment now, in order not to let myself down. What a screwed up mind twist that is. I am always just hurting myself.
And now I invite you to make the last “sacrifice”: the “sacrifice” of fear

I gladly make the ‘sacrifice’ of fear.

“Here is the only ‘sacrifice’ You ask of Your beloved Son; You ask him to give up all suffering, all sense of loss and sadness, all anxiety and doubt, and freely let Your Love come streaming in to his awareness, healing him of pain, and giving him Your own eternal joy. Such is the ‘sacrifice’ You ask of me, and one I gladly make; the only ‘cost’ of restoration of Your memory to me, for the salvation of the world.”

And as we pay the debt we owe to truth – a debt which merely is the letting-go of self-deceptions and of images we worshipped falsely – truth returns to us in wholeness and in joy. We are deceived no longer. Love has now returned to our awareness. And we are at peace again, for fear has gone and only Love remains.
- A Course in Miracles, Lesson 323

Why I love the Course in Miracles so much

A Course in Miracles is truly a master piece that goes way beyond anything that I can change with my human understanding. That’s why it doesn’t tell me to drink 8 cups of water a day. Or what the best sleeping cycle is, or what to do, or to only say good things. It’s is far beyond that, and that is what irritated me for a long time. I was looking for that perfect way to live. The perfect process to get happy. Some secret that I felt was missing in my live, but already existed in every one else’ live.
The Course in Miracles also goes beyond consciousness. It changes me where the only change is possible, at the roots of the roots at the point what I am one with God. Where there is actually no change possible, so that’s why there is also no process to get there. It’s just my recognition right now, that I am whole and perfect as God created me. I am free to be myself. I am already worthy of everyone’s love and God’s gifts.
So you are invited to let yourself be healed in stopping to search for something that you can never find.

The revolution of self-forgiveness

It starts with me. It’s all about being in peace with myself again. It is a revolution to do what we have sworn never to do - to forgive ourselves. That’s why it seems so hard. But in the moment where it happens it is the most natural thing. It first happens in my mind, because I can’t stand the pain of holding on to anything that is not perfect love anymore. So with the necessity to be in peace and have freedom of mind, I look at the grievance that I am holding and start to pray. Most of the time the last thing is forgive. Most of the time condemnation is closer than release and forgiveness. This is where the lessons of A Course in Miracles come in, and also the true desire to be with God. Once this miracle has occurred in my mind, it’s being reflected in my whole world. And then I realize that no one has ever hold a grievance against me. That they forgave me the moment I have upset them. That I was the one refusing to let go and be at peace.
Nothing actually ever happened. Nothing is going on here. Wake up. This is absolutely not your reality. There is just so much more waiting for you. And it starts with you! With this moment where you forgive yourself completely. Welcome to your new mind. Welcome to the revolution of YOU!

Impossibility of blogging

It’s impossible to keep up a blog for a whole mind, because what I wrote yesterday is already so obsolete, it’s gone and over and my new mind does not have a link of memory to the past. Did that really happen to me? It doesn’t sound right anymore today. So to keeping up this blog is a moment to moment endeavor. Forgiving myself moment to moment from where I thought I was, to coming into the present. So I just hope that wherever you are in your mind right now that whatever I am expressing at the moment will make sense to you and help you increase the frequency of your mind. My fear as an awakened mind is always to be off, not to be on the mark, but how can I be off if I am a whole mind. There are so many questions that I don’t even want answers for, because they disappear in a moment of release. And that is all the course is offering me in every instant to release my mind from everything that I think, everything that is going on. And be completely brand new. Without letting go of myself I can’t even be real for a moment, because I am just always past and there for actually dead, not existent. That state becomes really painful when I am aware of it. Thank God for my brothers and the Course in Miracles that always gets me out of it in an instant and reminds me of the truth of who I really am.
I mean look at the first lesson of the Course: “Nothing I see means anything. “ And then the 5^th one: “You are never upset for the reason you think.” And Lesson Nr. 35: “I am not the victim of the world I see.” These are amongst my favorite ones. They just show me in an instant that I am completely wrong, that what I think is going on is not so. There is actually nothing else to say except the invitation for a great experiment to let that be so for you. Let the lessons speak for themselves and let them work you. The outcome is a freedom that you can’t imagine right now, because you are in it, way to deep. You need to get out all the way, to see how beautiful you really are. With that being said, this is a miracle and takes the grace of God for it to be fulfilled.

I can’t do it without you!

Ever doubted yourself and what you where doing? You gotta be kidding, you might think, “of course, I have doubted myself!” Who hasn’t. I at least don’t know anyone who has not doubted himself.
The Course in Miracles writes in the Epilog:
”Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain.  Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again.  Yet is the ending sure.  No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do.  When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart.  Who could despair when hope like this is his?  Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them.  Behind each one there is reality and there is God.”

It gets more and more painful, actually unbearable painful to not do what God has appointment me to do, and I am very grateful for that. I have never felt so much at peace with myself and aligned with the will of God.

Everything is coming together, and the things I think didn’t work suddenly appear as being brilliant. It’s that feeling of everything is clicking in. I have been in some sort of preparation that I would be ready for this time. It’s like building a website and then it’s ready to be published. I feel I have just been published. In other words I am growing up and putting myself out there. And the response is not devastating, but makes me really happy. I have been moving forward. And right now I just want to thank every one that has helped me along the way. I could have not done it without you.

Only truth is true!

Truth can not be learned, thought or acquired in any other form, but through the pure experience of it. Truth is true and nothing else is true. I could tell you what I experienced truth to be, but through your perception it would be so distorted that it would have again nothing to do with the truth. So right here in now I offer you the joining of our minds, and in that instant we can experience the truth of who we are together. Then there is no doubt of what that truth is, it is not open to discussion, it is too precious even to be talked about. Truth stands by it self it does not need defends of any kind. Anything that needs defends is not true.

This is from the Introduction to A Course In Miracles:

“Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

I will step back and let him lead the way!

On my own I am capable of nothing. Everything I did and tried to do in this world failed. There was always this longing for God in me. It did not make sense to me that I was in pain, thinking the most horrible things about myself and at the same time there was a God who loved me completely. Something was wrong with this picture. And somewhere I realized that it was me. The common denominator to all my problems. Since my best thinking had brought me to this devastation I knew my best thinking can´t get me out of it. I knew I needed help from something outside of me. Somebody that had already realized their Christ mind. It is amazing that in the moment that I am ready the answer is there for me as well. It showed up for me in the form of the Course in Miracles, answering my call for help, from outside this little box of space and time. I realized how much I had limited myself through the believes I held about myself. Everything that I believed about myself was a limit on the Son of God that I truly am. Now, when I step back and let him lead the way, I am certain that whatever occurs is for the best of everyone and everything. I know that I am not trapped through this body, I know that I can travel out into this universe, that has been waiting for me all along, whenever I want to. The decision and willingness is mine, the rest is God´s in which my complete trust lies.

I am not the victim of the world I see.

How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose? My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave it simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner I would give up insane wishes, and walk into the sunlight at last. (Review Lesson of A Course In Miracles Lesson 31)

I love it! i love it! I love it! No matter in which situation I find myself I refuse to be the victim of it. This has been my complete salvation. Every day situation appear that make me believe that I have been unfairly treated. And it only depends on me, how I handle them. Who do I choose to be? The holy son of God?
This is not a comfortable teaching, it has nothing to do with comfort or how everything is love and peace, this is where the rubber meets the road. It all depends on a decision in my mind. And I can see how the imagery around me changes in the same moment when I take the decision.
The other day I had to wait for my car in Walmart wandering around through the aisle, I saw a lot of things that created a need for having them in me. I started to feel horrible, since I just perceived lack and the idea that I can’t have them because I can’t afford them. I already found myself getting fearful when I took the decision not to be the victim of this situation. The next thing that happened was that I ran into a brother, I asked for help and another brother showed up as well. So there we where creating a portal of light in the middle of Walmart, standing in the dedication of our singular purpose not to follow the laws of the world any longer but to leave space and time right there and then. Right here and now actually. All fear and lack are gone and what is left is love and peace that does not come from a result of anything, but just from the decision to let my mind be how it truly is. Which is giving and extending itself all the time. How then can I perceive lack, when I am giving myself away? Lack appeared when I started to demand from the universe rather than giving myself away. 
There is always something you can give no matter who you think you are, or where you think you are. You can give right now, what are you waiting for?

Let me recognize the problem, so it can be solved!

The lesson for today from A Course In Miracles is truly amazing and helpful to me. My mind tends to be preoccupied with hundreds of thoughts and ideas and problems and opinions and other stuff that makes it very hard to be free right now. In the midst of all that overwhelming life there is Jesus and his clear message that simplifies everything and brings all my worries doubts and fears to a halt. He just tells me that I have one problem. Yes, just one. In that moment I gather my fractured mind together and accept Jesus’ statement. My one problem is that I think I am separate from God. Let me recognize the problem so it can be solved. I just recognized the problem. I think I am separate from God. In an instant of frantic fear of separation and abandonment I created this whole world and gave it all my power. Then I carried on with my life thinking I could not do anything to change my world. Trapped in the prison I made up for myself, I saw tons of problems with no solutions anywhere in sight. And it is true there is no solution to my problem. Actually me trying to find a solution is what the problem is. Because I don’t even know what the problem is. Lesson 5 tells me: "I am never upset for the reason I think." How can I know the problem then. This whole world is all based on a wrong perspective and perception. So here comes Jesus telling me clearly what the problem is and now the solution is in sight as well. I know that that has to be it, because it did not come from me. My best thinking has gotten me into this mess that I call my world, so where is my best thinking going to take me? Probably not out of here. The Course In Miracles is this sane voice in my mind telling me clearly that I have only one problem and that this problem has already be solves. Since my mind still can’t grasped this fact I need the next lesson: "Let me recognize my problem has been solved."

There is nothing to fear

The lesson for today from A Course In Miracles , "There is nothing to fear", just puts it so clear, I have no choice. I can just kick my own behind and let go all of my thoughts of fear that where lingering in my mind. Why would I wait for the fear to be converted and overcome, when Jesus is right here with me, telling me that I have no need for fear anymore. That literally now I can be free and go on with what my father wills for me.

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