The revolution of self-forgiveness
It starts with me. It’s all about being in peace with myself again. It is a revolution to do what we have sworn never to do – to forgive ourselves. That’s why it seems so hard. But in the moment where it happens it is the most natural thing. It first happens in my mind, because I can’t stand the pain of holding on to anything that is not perfect love anymore. So with the necessity to be in peace and have freedom of mind, I look at the grievance that I am holding and start to pray. Most of the time the last thing is forgive. Most of the time condemnation is closer than release and forgiveness. This is where the lessons of A Course in Miracles come in, and also the true desire to be with God. Once this miracle has occurred in my mind, it’s being reflected in my whole world. And then I realize that no one has ever hold a grievance against me. That they forgave me the moment I have upset them. That I was the one refusing to let go and be at peace.
Nothing actually ever happened. Nothing is going on here. Wake up. This is absolutely not your reality. There is just so much more waiting for you. And it starts with you! With this moment where you forgive yourself completely. Welcome to your new mind. Welcome to the revolution of YOU!
Forgiveness and giving up poverty
Wow, what a day, when I take responsibility for my life instead of waiting for God to fulfill me everything is happening. I have the tendency to blame everything on God and hope that he will take care of decisions I have to make or uncomfortable situations that I want to avoid. When I realized that I am actually avoiding responsibility in thinking that God will take care ofit, it was a huge revelation. A, I was blind and now I see, type of revelation. One of those really huge one. Where I feel that I literally shook of millenniums of wrong believes about God. The thing about being wrong is that I am convinced that I am right until it gets painful. Pain is a really great motivator. Who really wants to be wrong and forgive? It’s really uncomfortable to be wrong. But it is actually the only growth I can experience. Otherwise I am stuck in the same old “me” thinking… forever and ever. It’s time to be wrong and let everyone know that I have been wrong. What the heck, I got nothing to loose.
Hey, I have been wrong about you. “Jesus, please reveal him to me how he really is.”
Thank you!
WHY?
Why am I only nice to you when I heard that you are having a bad time? Why do I only care when I get something out of it? There are no answers just actions. Actions that get me far beyond my plain lazy being Mrs. spoiled brat. Being the victim of my dream. It really depends on me and my honest extension of myself no matter what the situation may be. The only answer there is is love. And I pretend I don’t care, pretend that you are not even there. So I can stay in my save zone. God, I am dying, but I am save in my little box. Why? Just to keep my Ego- Identity in place. So don’t rock my boat, it’s so comfortable, I am in pain but it is so comfortable. Do you remember that thinking?…That is over now…
Now is the time to forgive and get out of here. So I forgive you, and I am truly sorry for not caring, for not being a true friend. For choosing comfort over action. For being so self involved that I literally didn’t see you. That I just wanted you to recognize me, but did not care to give anything myself.
I am sorry. And now I am going out without knowing. Are you coming?
