Activation of my mind.

Whenever I think of writing a blogpost I have incredible ideas, and by the time I get to the computer and sit in front of the screen all the ideas are gone. I don’t like that fact, because I end up not writing blogpost for a long time, although I think about it a lot. But that is not the same of course. That is the same with the Course, I can think of it all I want, and the ideas are beautiful and everything, but until I take the action to practice the course and be a miracle worker myself, absolutely nothing will happen. There is nothing more active than not doing anything. If I want something to happen in my life I have to give it energy. What give energy to expands. Yes, I give my life and will over to God and I will get all of God’s help, but it is up to me to activate that in my mind and to actively foster that. My awakening does not happen without me, although it happens despite of me.
Whatever you want to happen to you or in your life - DO IT! Wow what a concept, what a simplicity, but still it seams so hard sometimes. It’s easier to blame God for the thing that don’t happen and for the unhappiness that I experience. God is not responsible for my experience here, I am. This is the only way out of here for me.

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

The revolution of self-forgiveness

It starts with me. It’s all about being in peace with myself again. It is a revolution to do what we have sworn never to do - to forgive ourselves. That’s why it seems so hard. But in the moment where it happens it is the most natural thing. It first happens in my mind, because I can’t stand the pain of holding on to anything that is not perfect love anymore. So with the necessity to be in peace and have freedom of mind, I look at the grievance that I am holding and start to pray. Most of the time the last thing is forgive. Most of the time condemnation is closer than release and forgiveness. This is where the lessons of A Course in Miracles come in, and also the true desire to be with God. Once this miracle has occurred in my mind, it’s being reflected in my whole world. And then I realize that no one has ever hold a grievance against me. That they forgave me the moment I have upset them. That I was the one refusing to let go and be at peace.
Nothing actually ever happened. Nothing is going on here. Wake up. This is absolutely not your reality. There is just so much more waiting for you. And it starts with you! With this moment where you forgive yourself completely. Welcome to your new mind. Welcome to the revolution of YOU!

Impossibility of blogging

It’s impossible to keep up a blog for a whole mind, because what I wrote yesterday is already so obsolete, it’s gone and over and my new mind does not have a link of memory to the past. Did that really happen to me? It doesn’t sound right anymore today. So to keeping up this blog is a moment to moment endeavor. Forgiving myself moment to moment from where I thought I was, to coming into the present. So I just hope that wherever you are in your mind right now that whatever I am expressing at the moment will make sense to you and help you increase the frequency of your mind. My fear as an awakened mind is always to be off, not to be on the mark, but how can I be off if I am a whole mind. There are so many questions that I don’t even want answers for, because they disappear in a moment of release. And that is all the course is offering me in every instant to release my mind from everything that I think, everything that is going on. And be completely brand new. Without letting go of myself I can’t even be real for a moment, because I am just always past and there for actually dead, not existent. That state becomes really painful when I am aware of it. Thank God for my brothers and the Course in Miracles that always gets me out of it in an instant and reminds me of the truth of who I really am.
I mean look at the first lesson of the Course: “Nothing I see means anything. “ And then the 5^th one: “You are never upset for the reason you think.” And Lesson Nr. 35: “I am not the victim of the world I see.” These are amongst my favorite ones. They just show me in an instant that I am completely wrong, that what I think is going on is not so. There is actually nothing else to say except the invitation for a great experiment to let that be so for you. Let the lessons speak for themselves and let them work you. The outcome is a freedom that you can’t imagine right now, because you are in it, way to deep. You need to get out all the way, to see how beautiful you really are. With that being said, this is a miracle and takes the grace of God for it to be fulfilled.

And now for something completely different!

That is the energy for me at the moment - completely different, completely new. I have been replaced in my entirety. The next moment is uncertain and the only strength is the trust in my goal - which is GOD - which is the only certain thing in my mind. So that I can cope with all that uncertainty I used to establish standards in which to judge every situation. And when a situation was not in my frame of reference I would set up new standards that met that particular situation.
This morning I chucked them all out. I was the one who established them in the first place, and I was limiting myself by them. Oh my God, what a relief.

“Let all things be exactly as they are.”
“Let me not be Your critic, Lord, today, and judge against You. Let me not attempt to interfere with Your creation, and distort it into sickly forms. Let me be willing to withdraw my wishes from its unity, and thus to let it be as You created it. For thus will I be able, too, to recognize my Self as You created me. In Love was I created, and in Love will I remain forever. What can frighten me when I let all things be exactly as they are?”

Let not our sight be blasphemous today, nor let our ears attend to lying tongues. Only reality is free of pain. Only reality is free of loss. Only reality is wholly safe. And it is only this we seek today.
(Lesson 268 from A Course In Miracles)

And the other Lesson that comes to mind is:

“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
I will be honest with myself today. I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. Today I recognize that this is so. And so I am relieved of judgement which I cannot make. Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us.

“Father, today I leave creation free to be itself. I honor all the parts, in which I am included. We are one because each part contains Your memory, and truth must shine in all of us as one.”
Lesson 243 from A Course In Miracles

Deepak Chopra mentions this lesson in his book “The seven spiritual laws of success.” I just started to read it, and I was amazed that in the first exercise he suggests the reader to do this lesson everyday. To start the day without judging and to remind myself through out the day not to judge.

That is what happened to me when I chucked the foundation of all judgments my standards out of my mind. Neither bad nor good is desirable, both are judgments and limit myself and my Self expression. No – “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.” And “I let all things be exactly as they are.”
Finally I let my mind go, he already knows where he needs to go and where he is at home. I will not trap my mind in idol dreams that I have made, and that I thought will bring solution to my mind. Today I am free of all of my plans and I am free to be who I truly am. Finally, thank you!

Action!

Nothing gets done if I don’t start. It’s very easy to get caught up in planning, analyzing, organizing. Don’t waste your time preparing for something that is already over. Do you find yourself reading all those spiritual books that tell you how to prepare yourself for God, or that give you a process to get to God? There is no process to your awakening, there is no way to God. It is a journey without distance, in an instant of reality. How long are you planning on practicing to be in the here and now? How long are you waiting for some enlightened guy outside of you to save you? I hope by now you saw the insanity of the human mind. That is doing everything not to be where they are and not to be who they are. To be or not to be is not a question anymore. You already are. That is unavoidable. Blaming someone else for it wont help you out anymore. It’s really time that I cut to the chase here and take responsibility for me, my mind, my life. It is amazing how much easier life gets. That is nothing else but growing up. Have you every blamed someone outside of yourself for any situation? YES?

That means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life.
Are you willing to take full responsibility of your life?
Do it now… Action! Without that nothing will ever happen, nothing will ever change… you’ll be the same old stinking you, and it’s entirely your fault…

I will step back and let him lead the way!

On my own I am capable of nothing. Everything I did and tried to do in this world failed. There was always this longing for God in me. It did not make sense to me that I was in pain, thinking the most horrible things about myself and at the same time there was a God who loved me completely. Something was wrong with this picture. And somewhere I realized that it was me. The common denominator to all my problems. Since my best thinking had brought me to this devastation I knew my best thinking can´t get me out of it. I knew I needed help from something outside of me. Somebody that had already realized their Christ mind. It is amazing that in the moment that I am ready the answer is there for me as well. It showed up for me in the form of the Course in Miracles, answering my call for help, from outside this little box of space and time. I realized how much I had limited myself through the believes I held about myself. Everything that I believed about myself was a limit on the Son of God that I truly am. Now, when I step back and let him lead the way, I am certain that whatever occurs is for the best of everyone and everything. I know that I am not trapped through this body, I know that I can travel out into this universe, that has been waiting for me all along, whenever I want to. The decision and willingness is mine, the rest is God´s in which my complete trust lies.

I am not the victim of the world I see.

How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose? My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave it simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner I would give up insane wishes, and walk into the sunlight at last. (Review Lesson of A Course In Miracles Lesson 31)

I love it! i love it! I love it! No matter in which situation I find myself I refuse to be the victim of it. This has been my complete salvation. Every day situation appear that make me believe that I have been unfairly treated. And it only depends on me, how I handle them. Who do I choose to be? The holy son of God?
This is not a comfortable teaching, it has nothing to do with comfort or how everything is love and peace, this is where the rubber meets the road. It all depends on a decision in my mind. And I can see how the imagery around me changes in the same moment when I take the decision.
The other day I had to wait for my car in Walmart wandering around through the aisle, I saw a lot of things that created a need for having them in me. I started to feel horrible, since I just perceived lack and the idea that I can’t have them because I can’t afford them. I already found myself getting fearful when I took the decision not to be the victim of this situation. The next thing that happened was that I ran into a brother, I asked for help and another brother showed up as well. So there we where creating a portal of light in the middle of Walmart, standing in the dedication of our singular purpose not to follow the laws of the world any longer but to leave space and time right there and then. Right here and now actually. All fear and lack are gone and what is left is love and peace that does not come from a result of anything, but just from the decision to let my mind be how it truly is. Which is giving and extending itself all the time. How then can I perceive lack, when I am giving myself away? Lack appeared when I started to demand from the universe rather than giving myself away. 
There is always something you can give no matter who you think you are, or where you think you are. You can give right now, what are you waiting for?

For You!

You are way to beautiful to rot in this body
You are way to genius to keep yourself so small
You are way to valuable to keep yourself separate from God
You are way to meaningful to sustain barriers between you and your brother
You are way to divine to hide yourself
You are way to lovable to keep holding on to fear
You are way to trustworthy to keep yourself separate from everyone
You are way to holy to content yourself with the love from this world
You are way to awake to keep playing this role of past identity
You are way to certain to hold on to grievances
You are way to advanced not to go all the way
You are as God created you!

I love you!
It’s time to come home!

WHY?

Why am I only nice to you when I heard that you are having a bad time? Why do I only care when I get something out of it? There are no answers just actions. Actions that get me far beyond my plain lazy being Mrs. spoiled brat. Being the victim of my dream. It really depends on me and my honest extension of myself no matter what the situation may be. The only answer there is is love. And I pretend I don’t care, pretend that you are not even there. So I can stay in my save zone. God, I am dying, but I am save in my little box. Why? Just to keep my Ego- Identity in place. So don’t rock my boat, it’s so comfortable, I am in pain but it is so comfortable. Do you remember that thinking?…That is over now…
Now is the time to forgive and get out of here. So I forgive you, and I am truly sorry for not caring, for not being a true friend. For choosing comfort over action. For being so self involved that I literally didn’t see you. That I just wanted you to recognize me, but did not care to give anything myself.
I am sorry. And now I am going out without knowing. Are you coming?

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