Get in the game

Just get in the game. Just do it. What are you waiting for? The incredible thing is once you just moved one little step toward God, the doors open and the flood is ready to wipe all your concepts away and release you from all the past and let you enter in this moment with a totally new mind. It happens to me that I stumble around, pissed, full with grievances but still expecting joy in my life. And then through a miracle a trigger gets released and I do something different in my mind.  Joy requires a different action.
The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That is the human condition. Haven´t we learned anything? Haven´t I learned anything? Apparently not.
Chasing the same rainbows that can never be reached. This whole life is a compensation, me compensating for how unworthy I feel. Me trying, with everything that I am, to squeeze some sort of funniness or contribution out of me. But there is nothing. Nothing that I could share with you. And in all of this human insanity the light shines with equal strength and clarity. Through the light I realize that I don´t need to give you anything. That I am enough. That God is enough. That God loves me so much and has given me everything. The whole pressure falls off me. That is the opening, the first step that is required. The step that I can´t stand the situation anymore and that I want a change. Ask and it shall be given. Knock and the door will be opened. And I asked and everything was given and I knocked and he opened for me and the light shines the darkness away. And what is left is pure light extending forever.